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天使之心

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30

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如何觉察与管理自己的情绪

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你们好，我是***团的***上师

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今天要谈的主题是

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「如何觉察与管理自己的情绪」

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看到这个主题

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你们第一个反应是不是说

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情绪还需要觉察吗

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情绪浮现出来时

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酸甜苦辣点点都在心头

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怎么还需要觉察

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别急，且看上师慢慢说下去

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情绪在你们的心理学

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指的是由外在的刺激感官

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或是由内在升起的某种感觉

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进而引起的身体反应

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包括了喜、怒、哀、乐、爱、恶、欲等

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很多时候在你们情绪翻涌的当下

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往往揉合很多错综复杂的情绪翻搅在一起

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所谓的五味杂陈在心头

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难以言述，大概就是这种感觉的形容

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但这种情绪还算是外显性的

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容易察觉

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你们有时候很多情绪却是藏在内里

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暗积在心头的

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可能连你们自己都未必能察觉得到

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当情绪是表张性的时候

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情绪一来，你大哭、狂吼、暴怒、尖叫

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在情绪涌起的当下

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你们感觉自己与理智脱勾

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像被另一个陌生恐怖的自我掌控

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情绪爆炸之际

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你就像凌空飞过的战机

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将自己的怒火如炮弹到处轰炸

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直到回过神来才惊觉爆炸现场一片狼藉

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如果你刚好在一个独处的空间

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你只需慢慢整理你自己制造的混乱就可以

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但若是刚才的爆炸现场

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还有无辜的路人甲乙丙存在

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可就真的是殃及无辜

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轻则道歉了事

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重则众叛亲离、备受指责

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可能造成关系上难以弥补的裂缝

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真可谓是付出惨重的代价

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而另一面隐化性的情绪呢

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有些人在面对冲突场面时

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会习惯性地将情绪给压抑住

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没表现出来

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让人感觉这个人好像很有修养

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脾气很好

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不管发生什么事情

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你都很难从他脸上看出一丁点的难过与不悦

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殊不知这种人往往是深水炸弹

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在内心深处情绪积压到一定程度

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才会在自己的情绪核心中央爆炸

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轻则忧郁，重则罹癌

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你们有些人遇事狂暴

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情绪一来会不慎殃及无辜

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把自己应该消化的情绪

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丢给别人承担

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这是不负责任的表现

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而有些人则是习惯性地跟你赌气冷战

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心里有气也不说

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以冷暴力的言行对待身边其他人

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像这样类似的情绪处理

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都是不健康的

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情绪该是流动的能量

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它需要在你的感官中

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充分被看见与表现出来

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你无须压抑自己的情绪

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把自己搞得内伤加剧

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旁人还一头雾水不明白你在气什么

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但你也不用情绪一来

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就手上端着机关枪，见人就扫射

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面对情绪与觉察的第一步

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就是当出现某个情境时

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你要抓住心中第一个涌现的感觉是什么

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接着你也许会戏剧化地发展

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当第一个情绪出来时

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紧接着第二个与第三个不同的情绪

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也已蓄势待发准备让你看见

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情绪涌生的当下

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你或许没办法抓住第一个警报的哨声

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但接下来浮现的其他情绪

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你一定能察觉

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面对情绪时

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你可以试着这么问自己

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我为什么要感觉不舒服

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让我感觉不舒服的原因是什么

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我现在所感受到的情绪是什么

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我应该用什么样的反应表达我的情绪

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接下来我该怎么做

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难道这件事情

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我一定要泼妇骂街似的与人嘶吼对骂吗

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自己都知道嗓门大不代表你有理

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确定自己只能用这种方式

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表达自己的不满

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还是遇到觉得不满、委屈的事件

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还要像个小媳妇似的把眼泪往自己肚里吞

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丧失维护自己权益的勇气

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忍痛签下丧权辱国的条款

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夹着尾巴离场吗

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就不能拿出勇气，以中正平和的声音

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试着与人对话

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将自己内心的感觉说出来吗

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诸如此类种种类似事件

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相信你们应该不陌生

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有时候，你们在刚进行类似的情绪觉察时

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最常犯的毛病就是

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错过第一声警哨的那个情绪

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再不然就是情绪太多太杂

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连你们自己一时也没办法觉察

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就顺着自己的惯性被淹没

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再顺着惯性去反应

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最后能得到的

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也就是那习惯性见到的自己

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其实

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上师在这里给有惯性困扰情绪的人们一个建议

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在事发当下涌生的情绪与反应

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你或许一时之间改变不了

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也没能细致察觉到自己情绪的不同

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可在事后，你们还是能留点时间给自己

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去回想自己一天中发生过那些事

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与其他人有过什么冲突

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你们可以事后去反省

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自己是不是有哪里可以改进

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下次遇到类似状况时

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自己还可以怎么修正自己的反应去应对

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你可以在心中重新模拟当时的情境

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尽可能在心中还原当时参与的人们说过的话

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包括你自己

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以及你当下的情绪

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去捕捉自己当时那种感觉

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去理解并分析当下情境

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再从中去做情境修正，或是补救

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类似的情境模拟可帮助你们

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去检视自己的情绪惯性是如何反应的

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如果觉得自己的情绪管理老是出状况

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人际关系有问题

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身体老是觉得胸口堵堵闷闷的

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看到某个人心里就有气

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这些都是帮助你们觉察与转换的小撇步

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情境发生当下

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你或许无法掌握与难以觉察

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但是事后检讨与反省

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有助于你厘清自己的情绪变化

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甚至可以借由重回当时的情境

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去做出一些思考上的改变

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时日久了

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相信你就能体察出自己心境上的不同

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我是***上师，祝福你们

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传讯日期20200907

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天使之心版权为观音之爱以及与观音之爱的合作团队所有

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任何人不得对内容删减或增添

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也不得作为任何商业用途

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如果引用，必须注明出处

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